One Foot in Front of the Other

Our family suffered a great loss last week, and we are doing our best to come together as a team to put one foot in front of the other, look at the good we have in life and count our many blessings. For so long we have hoped to grow our family. We've prayed about it and took a head on battle with infertility. Finally, after many tears, appointments, shots, procedures, dollars and losses, we thought we were on the winning side. We had two amazing ultrasounds, heard our sweet baby's heartbeat and I looked and felt pregnant...it was a beautiful thing! It was hard for me to fully celebrate, I was scared. Although everything was going very well, I also know all too well how quickly joy can diminish. Hours after announcing our pregnancy at work--at 14 weeks along, I was quickly on my way to my doctor's office for a small complication. Within an hour we learned that our baby was no longer alive. I can't express the heartbreak--this baby gave us so much hope for our future, Griffin's future, our parents, family and friends--we were so excited to be able to share our bundle of joy with others this summer. We are grieving, but through the heartbreak and loss we are doing our best to celebrate what is good in our life and try to have hope for our future. We have no idea what it holds, but we have to believe that we will make the best of our future--that's who we are. With sadness comes an overwhelming feeling of being blessed. The outpouring of support from our co-workers, friends and family is amazing. The heartfelt emails, calls, cards, hugs, flowers, meals, an amazing care package and comforting gifts have be so thoughtful and just what we needed. I had friends come to pack away my maternity clothes. Friends planned a movie night, instead of watching a movie we talked and talked and talked. Much needed! Someone offerred to give me their frequent flyer miles so that Griffin and I could visit my parents. We are not alone. We truly feel that we are being lifted up with prayers. For a while the photos on our blog will be of us putting one foot in front of the other and getting by, day by day. After getting through what I thought was the end of our battle with infertility, I felt so proud of myself. In fact, it was the most proud I've ever been. It was terrible, ugly and painful, but we did it! Now, I feel most proud of how our family has come together as a team. Our hearts are broken, but we are blessed.